The Queen's Duck
by littlehibou
Summary: Rumpel brings home a duck to the dark castle and hides it from Belle. Who is this duck, and why has Rumpel named it after his son?


This is why I shouldn't go on otpprompts.

Prompt: Imagine your OTP getting a pet duck...

...And so, this happened.

Also, lol, my browser tried to correct 'Rumpelstiltskin' to 'Multitasking'.

* * *

On the nights when Rumpelstiltskin was away, Belle slept fitfully. The castle was just too quiet.

Although, she thought, wrinkling her nose, the sound that shattered the silence was all too often that of wraiths howling, victims screaming, or animals yelping in pain.

Since the silence prevented her from sleeping, she wandered about like a restless ghost, dusting things that didn't need dusting, and counting the bricks in the walls. She picked up a book for the millionth time and moved it to a different place. Then she picked up the book again and moved it to the bookshelf. Several minutes later, she removed it, set it on the floor, and walked away.

The truth was that Belle didn't know what to do with herself.

Finally, she heard the coatrack falling down in the foyer, and Rumpel muttering under his breath as he picked it up. Rumpel always forgot that the coatrack was there, and knocked it over every time he teleported to the foyer.

And then, inexplicably, Belle heard quacking.

_Quacking?_

She peeked around the curtains that hung over the entryway to the foyer - Rumpel had broken the door in a fit of temper - and saw that he had a duck. A duck in a basket, all muddy-brown feathers and beady black eyes. It was covered with a worn knit blanket, and there was a ribbon around its neck. In the dimness of the foyer, nestled against Rumpel's ragged leather coat, the duck seemed to shine. It was truly a marvellous duck. Belle could not keep her gaze from it.

Too late, Rumpel saw her peeking around, and glared at her. "You should be asleep."

"I'm not a child, I don't need a bedtime", retorted Belle. "What is that you brought home?"

Rumpel quickly tried to conceal the duck beneath his coat. "Nothing. Some oranges. Nothing, nothing at all..."

Belle plucked the bottom of his coat up and tilted her head to see the duck better. "It's a duck. It is the most charming duck I have ever seen."

Rumpel swatted her hands away and turned to protect the duck from her. "It's not for you! It's mine, and you can't keep it!"

"Well, what were you going to do with it?" Belle demanded, putting her hands on her hips sassily.

"...Kill it. I was going to kill it. I knew you would fall in love with it and cry..."

"What do you care if I cry?"

"I don't", he said, too quickly.

Belle skirted around him, trying to get a good look at the promising fowl. "You weren't really going to kill it, right? Don't do that, Rumpel! It's such a beautiful duck! It's never done anything to you!"

Rumpel sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. "This is why I tried to hide it from you. You women and your petty attachments. Go and dust something, Belle." With this, he stepped to the side and up the stairs before she could blink.

Belle tried to dust things. She truly and honestly did. But her mind kept going back to that beautiful duck - that gorgeous, innocent, and utterly doomed bird.

And so Belle made a rescue plan.

* * *

At last, Rumpelstiltskin was alone with the duck.

He had found it on the side of the road going home, and was immediately transfixed. Who would leave such an enamouring duck in the cold, all alone? Its eyes had been filled with sadness. Its beak, if such was possible, had been turned down in some semblance of a lonely frown. How could he leave it!?

He swore then and there to avenge the fowl's abandonment. Whoever had left it there would pay, and pay dearly.

Rumpel loved its silky, watertight feathers. He loved its glassy eyes. But the ribbon around its neck was simply ridiculous. And so he pulled it off and destroyed it. In a moment of affection, he named the beast Baelfire. He would raise it as a son. He would love it forever. He would teach it to speak. Yes, that was it - !

But then there was Belle...

If she found out that she had replaced his son with a duck, she would be _so jealous_. She wanted the duck for herself. He must keep Bae the Duck a closely guarded secret.

So he stayed up all night using the poker and a couple of old swords to construct a grate that would keep Duck-Bae from wandering down the stairs into Belle's line of sight. She must think she had killed Duck-Bae, and then she'd cry, and eventually get over it. Such was the way with the female species. And so, finally at peace, Rumpel got into bed, tucked Duck-Bae in under the covers with him, and went to sleep.

* * *

In the dead of night, as the moon reached its highest peak in the sky, Belle took a sword and a cloak and tiptoed up the stairs. She would capture the duck and escape out the window. She had no choice; she must save the poor animal's life, even if it meant death.

When she reached Rumpel's bedroom, she found an open door and a queer metal grate cast to the side of the hall. Rumpel snored loudly inside. The duck was nowhere in sight. Belle peeked under the bed, in the closet, even lifted the blanket a bit to look underneath; unfortunately, this woke Rumpel, and he leapt from the bed with an enraged yelp.

"WHAT IN THE REALMS ARE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM!?" he shouted. Belle straightened her back and lifted her chin.

"Go on! Kill me! But you've no right to kill such a beautiful duck, and I - "

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to kill you."

"What?"

"Nothing", Rumpel snapped irritably, shoving her to the side, and storming down the stairs in search of Duck-Bae. It seemed that the grate he had constructed was flimsier than it seemed.

He grabbed Belle by the cloak and dragged her along. "You let the duck out; you shall help me search for him."

"No, I won't!" cried Belle, jerking away from him. "I won't let you kill such a gorgeous duck, and I will certainly not help you find him - ! Oh, Rumpel - "

"What?" he demanded.

"...Why do you sleep in your leather pants? It seems terribly uncomfortable - "

"STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I'm not going to kill the wretched beast. I am going to keep him as a pet. Now will you please cooperate!?"

Belle, bewildered, stuttered for a moment, and then: "But you said - "

"I'm a liar", Rumpel said abruptly.

She considered this for a moment. "Oh. Oh, yes, I suppose you are. Nevermind, then; let's find the duck, shall we - ?" And then she set off down the hall determinedly.

Rumpel only shook his head. He would never understand women. So he followed.

The sun had begun to rise by the time they'd scoured the entire castle. Duck-Bae was nowhere to be found. All of the lights were lit, and all the chairs overturned, along with a vast quantity of dust. This caused Belle a great deal of embarrassment. And so Rumpel said nothing of it.

"There's only one place left to look", he said at last, when it was past breakfast time, and the birds were chattering outside with not a single blessed quack among them.

"What's that?" inquired Belle, who was sprawled out on her back on the floor, having lifted up more floorboards than was necessary in search of Duck-Bae. "We've searched every room in the castle."

"Not every room", Rumpel objected. "There's that one place where I keep all the magic too dark even for me. I have no earthly idea how the bird would have managed to get in there, but I suppose it's worth a try."

So he took hold of Belle's shirtsleeve and teleported with her to the dark room. Belle squinted in the dimness. "I can barely see a thing, Rumpel. What would possess you to keep it so poorly lighted?"

"It's _Dark Magic,_ you foolish girl. There's no need for light." Rumpel, in nervousness, became snappish. "Come along, will you!?" And he set off towards the back of the room.

After a few moments, Belle tapped him on the shoulder. "Rumpel. Shh. Do you hear that?"

There was a _Clunk, C-clunk, _and then a flurry of quacking. It sounded like Duck-Bae was trying to communicate something. Rumpel hurried towards the east corner of the room - what if Duck-Bae was hurt!? He could not lose his beloved son for a second time!

Wait.

Rumpel stopped in his tracks. The duck was not his son. That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard of. What was wrong with him!? The duck obviously had some sort of sorcery about it! He hurried on once more, now worried that the duck was about to send them all into oblivion.

Sure enough, he soon came upon Duck-Bae in the corner of the room, holding the Black Faerie's wand, about to open a dastardly portal to another realm. Rumpel let out a howl and kicked the bird across the room. How dare the wretched fowl worm its way into his heart under his son's precious name!

He snatched the wand from it and tied it up with a rope that he happened to have in his pocket. Upon closer inspection of the wand, it turned out that Duck-Bae had been intending to transport himself to Regina's castle. No doubt he was a spy for the Evil Queen.

They had roast duck for dinner that night. Belle did not ask where it came from.


End file.
